Saturday, June 15, 2002

 
Inside my heart is breaking...
My makeup may be flaking...
but my smile
still.
stays.
on.
9:47 AM

Thursday, June 13, 2002

 
I just have to leave it all off the stage or use it to my advantage.
Why, why, why is this so frustrating?
Once upon a time, I would have poured my heart out here.
I can't now.
8:30 PM

 
Yesterday, rehearsal was wretched. Nobody really wanted to be there. Ben was exhausted-- his grandpa is sick, and he's been in Logan for the past two nights taking care of him, getting no sleep. Carl was being sort of... apathetic, annoyingly apathetic, more interested in Lindsay than in rehearsal. All Thora would do was read letters from her boyfriend, who is in Dallas. Ali was the only one concentrating-- I admit, I was more interested in what was happening in my book, to the hobbits, than in Hamlet.
When I got onstage to do my lines with Ben, Eric, and Carl, we couldn't have had less chemistry. I knew Ben was tired, and I think I was unconsciously pulling back so as not to push him. I was entirely out of character, and he entirely just didn't care.
I wish Eric was playing Polonius. I feel so much more... I don't know, scolded and oppressed when he reads Cameron's lines. Not that Cameron is bad. He's just shorter than me.
9:39 AM